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5 ways to mess up a first date!

We’ve all been there. You’ve gone on a first date, and boom… what seemed like it could have had so much potential has ended like a train wreck.

You’re left thinking… what happened? How did it go so wrong?

A mate was going on a date a little while back and made the mistake of having a few drinks beforehand. I think he stopped counting at five, and by the time he met up with his date, he was a bit of a drunken and obnoxious mess. The date ended pretty fast after that.

It’s funny how we can sometimes be our own worst enemies. I admit there have been times I’ve killed a few first dates because of my own stupidity.

So for the sake of laughs and maybe a few valuable lessons, here’s ‘Five Ways to Kill The First Date’. I’m not guilty of all five, just one or two…

1. Rocking up drunk

I understand it’s good sometimes to enjoy a drink to take the edge off the nerves. I know I do, but don’t go overboard. Some folks are funny drunk, but most people’s behaviour isn’t improved, and first impressions are wrecked. Trying to hold a conversation with someone slurring their words while struggling with the intricacies of gravitational pull can be pretty off-putting.

Going on a first date drunk is how horror movies start… and some pornos. If you’re drinking, make sure it’s an equal playing field. If your date’s not drinking, try to refrain yourself.

2. Not have your hook-up apps muted

It’s funny when you’re in a public library, and you hear someone’s Grindr going off! If you’re sitting in front of a candlelit dinner you’ve been invited over for it can get pretty awkward, though. The two of you longingly stare into each other’s eyes while the perfect romantic music plays in the background. Then suddenly, you hear the Grindr alert sound. The face said it all.

Yes, we’re all on the hunt for what’s out there, but you don’t need to remind the person on the first date about it. Have your phone on mute unless you’re expecting an important phone call.

3. Talk about the ex you’re not over

I can be understanding, but I’ll be straight up front with you. If I’m on a first date with you, it can be a little off-putting and awkward if you break down in tears telling me the ins and outs of your last relationship or how devastated you were when he ran off with your best mate.

It’s good to share a bit about yourself. First dates are about getting to know each other. However, 9 out of 10 times, your date doesn’t want to know about your ex, whether they were an angel from heaven or bitch from hell. At least not on the first date. The phrase “A little too much information” comes to mind.

4. Going on your phone too much

We truly live in the age of technology, and it will only advance as the years go on. There’s already been a distinct change in human interaction as a result. Not to mention a world created of narcissists. Taking an Instagram snap of your meal can be cute. Proceeding to check in on Facebook, posting a tweet and then a Snapchat is just too much. You’re not a bloody Kardashian.

You’re on this first date to get to know the person, not your phone. You have your lounge room and a Ben & Jerry’s tub for that. Technology is invading our lives enough. Put the phone down, take a break from the internet and focus on the physical environment immediately in front of you.

Ignore your phone completely, switch it off, and be undistracted in the moment. It’s the polite thing to do.

5. Don’t be a creep!

Hey, it’s good to be eager, but it’s not always best to show it. It’s great that you’re feeling optimistic about this first date. Still, it can be a little overwhelming when you start talking about how they must meet your housemate, mum, best friend, and lecturer… and the first date isn’t even over yet.

Yes, the prospect of potentially ending your drought can also be pretty damn exciting. But relax and look ahead to getting to know this new person a little better and discovering more about them – rather than making wedding plans just yet. Desperation is very unattractive. Things will go how they’re meant to go, just don’t be creepy about it.

These are just some scenarios to avoid, based on my experiences and many of my friends’ worst date stories. But I bet there are plenty of potentials near you who would love to be asked out for a coffee, so plunk up some courage and have fun. Hopefully, some of those first dates go smashingly and lead to others. You have nothing to lose.

The key with first dates is controlling your nerves and remembering we all make mistakes, but they’re only mistakes if you don’t learn from them.

First dates can be nerve-wracking at best, and even though Pat Benatar sang ‘Love is a Battlefield’, it doesn’t have to be a complete and utter massacre.

[Originally published on SameSame.com.au]

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