Why we should not ask if we’re good enough for someone.

I’ve been having a lot of revelations and moments of self discovery recently well actually they’ve been hitting me like Tsunami, where I spend the following few days processing through this overload of thoughts and contemplation. One of these has to do with relationships. I don’t really have a great history of good relationships. I could say they were dramatic, but even then that would be an understatement. Needless to say these relationships have had an effect on me, that at times can only be described as negative. Let me try and put things in perspective for you.


I had grown accustomed to being treated a certain way in relationships, and they usually have an abundance of drama that could make a really captivating gay TV series, so when i found myself in a relationship, that was completely different to my previous ones, things got really interesting. Now this last relationship I was in I broke off, because I thought my life was too busy etc but the beautiful harshness that reality and hindsight likes to slap us in the face with, also made me realised there was more then what I was letting on.

See straight up I freaked out. I mean you wouldn’t think having a nice happy relationship, where I wasn’t being used and treated like a piece of meat would have this effect on me but alas it did. Now if that wasn’t enough of a problem, what made it worse was the fact that I felt I wasn’t good enough for him. Having such thoughts of insecurities can be detrimental to relationships, trust me I learnt the hard way. See none of us are perfect, and it’s wrong to have such high expectations on ourselves or anyone else for that matter. See if you’re with someone why should you even be asking if you’re good enough for them? They chose you, so obviously they saw something in you that you quite possibly didn’t even see in yourself, and in their decision they feel that your are right for them. Why needlessly stress you’re head out questioning it? More then likely by being with them you will probably understand why they made that choice and in turn discover what they see in you. This was something that I had been thinking about recently, when suddenly I saw this post pop up on facebook that clarified exactly what I was thinking. Gotta love a bit of affirmation from the universe.

I don’t know if I’ll end up back in a relationship with my ex, don’t get me wrong it would be great if we did, but at the same time if it doesn’t happen, it’s not a bad thing as this experience has taught me a pretty important lesson in relationships and how I shall interact with my next one.

I’m beginning to accept the fact that only things in life that are mistakes are the things you don’t learn from.

A message from James St. James. Yep, I died and went to heaven!
"Becoming Chad St. James"

Author: Chad St James

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