The Pursuit versus The Chase.
I live in this mentality in regards to people I NEVER chase, especially in regards to relationships.
Now don’t get me wrong, I believe a little bit of a pursuit is healthy when getting to know a potential, but I think too often people blur the lines between the “pursuit” and that of the “chase.”
I mean when you’re getting to know someone, you have to make a bit of an effort especially if you’re keen on them, but when it’s all your effort this is where it becomes chasing and well I’m just not into that.
Just like friendships, relationships are a two way street. Yes it’s all very well for you to constantly try and make effort and time for someone, but when it feels like it’s not being reciprocated you really must ask yourself “Are you just chasing?”
I say this, simply because two people have to meet at a middle ground if there is to be anything of substance in that relationship.
There is nothing wrong with wanting to getting to know someone. However, if you’re the one constantly trying to organize a time to hang or dropping them a line, and they are not, I’m sorry to say this you have found yourself caught in the “chase.”
I’ll share from my personal experience. Recently I’ve been getting to know someone who I won’t deny I think is pretty amazing. So of course I decided to pursue. The problem is recently it feels like the line between the “pursuit” and the “chase” have become slightly blurred.
While I can understand at this time of the year it can be a very busy time, I personally feel I’m the one putting all the effort in by trying to catch up, sending a text here and there etc.
Let’s be honest, we’re all human, we like to feel wanted to some extent. I’m not saying we need someone’s undivided attention, but hey a little message such as “hey how you doing?” can go a long way. It just shows that you’re at least thinking of the person. I think this is important in relationships of any kind including friendships.
So what do you do when you think the line between the “pursuit” and the “chase” has been blurred? The list is endless but the one thing you at least want to find out is, whether they’re just not that into you.
So for me, I’ve made this conscious decision in my current predicament to pull up on the reins and throw the ball in other person’s side of the court.
At the end of the day I feel I’ve done as much as I can, so now it’s up to the other person for a bit. They know where to find me. Now whether they do or not is another thing, but either way I’ll at least have an answer.
Do you find you pursue or chase?