We’ve all been there. You’ve gone on a first date and boom… what seemed like it could have had so much potential has ended like a train wreck.
You’re left thinking… what happened? How did it go so wrong?
A mate was going on a date a little while back and made the mistake of having a few drinks beforehand. I think he stopped counting at five and by the time he had made the date he was a bit of a drunken and obnoxious mess. The date ended pretty fast after that.
It’s funny how we can sometimes be our own worst enemies. I admit there’s been times I’ve killed a few first dates because of my own stupidity.
So for the sake of laughs and and maybe a few valuable lessons here’s ‘Five Ways to Kill The First Date’. I’m not guilty of all five, just one or two…
1. Rocking up drunk
I understand it’s good sometimes to enjoy a drink to take the edge off the nerves. I know I do, but don’t go overboard. Some folks are really funny drunk, but most people’s behaviour isn’t improved, and first impressions are wrecked. It can be pretty off-putting trying to hold a conversation with someone slurring their words while struggling with the intricacies of gravitational pull.
Going on a first date drunk is how horror movies start… and some pornos. If you’re drinking, make sure it’s an equal playing field. If you’re date’s not drinking, try to refrain yourself.
2. Not have your hook-up apps muted
It’s funny when you’re in a public library and you hear someone’s Grindr going off! If you’re sitting in front of a candlelit dinner you’ve been invited over for it can get pretty awkward though. The two of you longingly stare into each other’s eyes while the perfect romantic music plays in the background. Then suddenly you hear the Grindr alert sound. The face said it all.
Yes, we’re all on the hunt for what’s out there, but you don’t need to remind the person on the first date about it. Have your phone on mute, unless you’re expecting an important phone call.
3. Talk about the ex you’re not over
I can be a pretty understanding person, but I’ll be straight up front with you. If I’m on a first date with you it can be a little off-putting and all kinds of awkward if you break down in tears telling me the ins and outs of your last relationship and how devastated your were when he ran off with your best mate.
It’s good to share a bit about yourself. First dates are about getting to know each other. However 9 out of 10 times your date doesn’t want to know about your ex, whether they were an angel from heaven or bitch from hell. At least not on the first date. The phrase “A little too much information” comes to mind.
4. Going on your phone too much
We truly do live in the age of technology and it’s only going to get advance as the years go on. There’s already been a distinct change in human interaction as a result of it not to mention a world created of narcissists. Taking in Instagram of your meal can be cute. Proceeding to then check in on Facebook, post a tweet and then a video snap chat is just a little too much. You’re not a bloody Kardashian.
You’re on this first date to get to know the person, not your phone. You have your lounge room and a tub of Ben & Jerry’s for that. Technology is invading our lives enough, put the phone down, take a break from the internet and focus on the physical environment immediately in front of you.
Ignore your phone completely – switch it off – and be in the moment, undistracted. It’s the polite thing to do.
5. Don’t be a creep!
Hey it’s good to be eager, but it’s not always best to show it. It’s great that you’re feeling positive about this first date, but it can be a little overwhelming when you start talking about how they have to meet your housemate, your mum, your best friend, your lecturer… and the first date isn’t even over yet.
Yes the prospect of potentially ending your drought can be also pretty damn exciting, but relax and look ahead to getting to know this new person a little better and discovering more about them – rather than making wedding plans just yet. Desperation is very unattractive. Things will go how they’re meant to go, just don’t be creepy about it.
These are just some of scenarios to avoid, based on my experiences and lots of my friends’ worst date stories. But I bet there’s plenty of guys near you who would love to be asked out for a coffee, so plunk up some courage, have some fun, and hopefully some of those first dates go smashingly and lead to others. You have nothing to lose.
The key with first dates is controlling your nerves and remembering we all make mistakes, but they’re only mistakes if you don’t learn from them.
First dates can be nerve wracking at best and even though Pat Benatar sang ‘Love is a Battlefield’, it doesn’t have to be a complete and utter massacre.